I recently came across a thread where someone asked:
“What’s the most unhinged wedding advice past brides would recommend for a smooth wedding planning experience?”
And the responses? They were not cute or sugarcoated at all. They were brutally honest advice from women who have actually done this thing.
And honestly… if you’re planning a Yoruba traditional wedding, you need this kind of advice more than anything else.
Because as beautiful as our weddings are, the colors, the culture, the prayers, the prostrating, the dancing, they can also be overwhelming.
So let’s talk about the real stuff.
1. Nobody Cares As Much As You Do.
Let’s just start here.
You care about:
- The exact shade of aso-oke.
- How your gele is folded.
- Whether the decor matches your beads.
- The timing of the groom’s entrance.
Most other people? They’re just excited to attend. Even people in your bridal party may not move with the urgency you expect. So if something matters to you, don’t assume. Confirm it. Follow up and remind people again.
Yoruba traditional weddings involve a lot of people which are thefamily members, elders, Alaga Iduro, Alaga Ijoko, friends, vendors and things can easily get lost in communication but make sure you over communicate. It will save you stress.
2. Feed Your Vendors Properly.
This one kept coming up and I laughed because it’s so true.
Your photographer.
Your videographer.
Your makeup artist.
The MCs.
The band.
These people are working long hours especially at traditional weddings where ceremonies stretch.A hungry vendor is an irritated vendor and an irritated vendor will not go above and beyond.
It might sound small, but it’s not. Do well to take care of the people taking care of you.
3. Choose Calm People, Not Just Close Friends.
Not everybody should be in your dressing room. I’ll say that again. Not everybody.
Yoruba weddings can already feel intense. There’s family movement, elders giving instructions, outfit changes, timing pressure.
You need 2 or 3 calm people around you. Not your loudest friend and not the most dramatic cousin. Calm energy is everything on that day.
4. Something Will Go Wrong. Decide Now That You’re Fine With It.
This is the advice that might free you the most.
Something will go wrong.
The groom’s family might arrive late.
The program might not follow the exact order you printed.
Your beads might shift.
The DJ might play the wrong song for 10 seconds.
It will happen.
But when you look back years from now, you won’t remember those details. You’ll remember how you felt kneeling while your parents prayed for you. You’ll remember your husband prostrating. You’ll remember the joy.
Don’t let tiny imperfections steal the experience.
5. Communicate Clearly With Both Families
If you’re doing a Yoruba traditional wedding, you already know this part is serious.
Bride price lists.
Introduction protocols.
Guest expectations.
Who is bringing what.
Who is sitting where.
Assumptions cause tension. Have conversations early. Clarify respectfully. Put things in writing if necessary. It’s better to have slightly awkward conversations months before than stressful ones the week of your wedding.
6. Stop Trying to Impress Everybody.
This one hurts but it’s important.
It’s very easy for a Yoruba traditional wedding to turn into a production.
More decor.
More guests.
More aso-ebi.
More everything.
Pause and ask yourself: are we doing this because we love it or because we don’t want people to talk? Because people will talk anyway.
Plan a wedding you can afford. Plan one that gives you peace. The marriage is longer than the party.
7. Protect Your Morning.
Your wedding morning sets the tone for everything. Try not to wake up to chaos. Reduce unnecessary phone calls. Let someone else handle minor issues. Play music that relaxes you. Pray. Breathe.
You don’t need 15 people in your room adjusting your gele at the same time. Peace is underrated.
8. Actually Enjoy the Culture.
In the middle of planning, budgeting, coordinating vendors, and managing family expectations, don’t forget what’s happening.
A Yoruba traditional wedding is heritage in motion.
The kneeling.
The prostration.
The elders praying.
The exchange of gifts.
The laughter.These are not just “program items.” They are moments you’ll replay in your mind years later. Be present for them
Final Thought
The most “unhinged” advice of all?
Your wedding is one day. Your marriage is the real thing. Don’t lose sleep trying to create a perfect event for people who will eat rice and go home.
Plan well.
Prepare properly.
But allow yourself to enjoy it.That’s the part that actually matters
